glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
