I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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