I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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