is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i believe in u and ur pee
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
