dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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