Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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