i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
