I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
