Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Randomize
