even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
