You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
