I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
