im holly from the hills drunk
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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