my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
