my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
NoShamevember. You game?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
