I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
