...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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