actually, I'm a sock model
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
