Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
