How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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