whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize