I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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