yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
