I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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