if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
