rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
