Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize