is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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