I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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