there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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