Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
