Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
