Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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