K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
