the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
