Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
