She said her name was "party"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
