He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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