It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
