Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
