I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
