Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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