So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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