her vagine was all disorganized.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
