He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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