That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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