its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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