I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
