You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
