I forgot how hot balto sounded
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
