Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
