i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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