i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
