Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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