No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
