Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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