Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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