i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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