Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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