i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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