I feel like abortions should bother me more
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
