your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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