Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I want to have your abortion
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
