Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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