i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
